6 months old and a NICU visit

The Beans were 6 months old two days ago! I cannot believe they are that old already. I cannot believe it has been 6 months. This day six months ago, I had just held Isaac for the first time, which was one of the best moments of my life. The Beans are really developing into 'babies' now instead of being 'newborns'. They have head control, they can roll over, they can play with toys to a certain extent, and in general they understand that they can have an effect on their environment. In fact, they get incredibly bored if you keep them in one place or position for too long - I am constantly switching them between the bouncy chairs, the playmat, the jumperoo, etc.

To commemorate this milestone and to kind of make the experience more real, I took the Beans on a visit back to the NICU. It was actually quite nice, and I (amazingly) did not have a panic attack! We got to see Jen, one of the nurses who took care of the boys alot in the beginning, and she was the one who let me hold Isaac for the first time. We also saw Martell, who gave us our initial NICU tour on our hospital maternity tour (which I didn't pay attention to because of course, why would I ever have needed the NICU!?). And Katie, my friend who also happens to be a NICU nurse and took care of the boys on several occasions. The last nurse we saw was Joy, who was a great source of comfort to me, she had the boys alot, and helped me breastfeed them initially. Everyone was amazed at how big the Beans are, and they kept telling me that I'm doing a great job. Man, the smell of hospital, especially the NICU hallway, really brought back memories. Of course I heard the sound of the monitors going off, which also brought back a whole host of feelings. I still hear it in my sleep sometimes, "beep beep beep...beep beep. beep beep beep...beep beep". I remember holding Gabe and hearing that, and seeing my sweet baby's heart rate drop into the 60's from the 150's, and his blood oxygen saturation drop as well as he momentarily stopped breathing. I know they've come a long way, and I'm thankful for that, but those memories are still very sharp sometimes.

Overall, I am happy, and I'm amazed that I've made it this long pumping for the Beans. That mommy milky really fattens up preemies! Also, both boys are teething now, which is what the picture is, them chewing on our Pooh teething rings that great grandma Kolbe got them. OK, enough reminiscing, this post ended up being more about me than them! Time for sleep, since they are sleeping as well, and they'll be up in a couple of hours to eat.

Bedtime Routine

Recently we have started to institute a bedtime routine. Apparently some parents do this from birth almost, but honestly I never thought to. We usually start around 8:30, do a quick bath (every other day, but definitely a neck-folds cleaning every day), a little massage with some lavender lotion, feeding each bean, then rocking in the bouncies while I read them stories. Sounds nice, right? WRONG. Beans fight it like it's the plague. Don't know why. Isaac loves the bath, so I try and give him more time in there, but Gabe is discontented to be in the bouncy while I bathe Isaac, so he fusses. Lotion/massage time is OK. But feeding, oh my. Isaac whimpers and cries, and never takes a full feeding, even if it's been a few hours. Gabe has recently started to fight all feedings, moving his head from side to side and crying, taking a few drinks, fighting it again. It is ridiculous! It takes FOREVER to feed him. I can usually get him to take almost the full bottle though. Then both are fussy and screamy during storytime. Often, they scream throughout the whole routine, for about two hours straight. It is soooo trying, and I've had meltdowns where I scream back at them, something like "what could possibly be wrong with you!?!? NOTHING IS WRONG!!!". Of course that makes them scream harder, then I feel terrible. Parenting twins is just so challenging sometimes.

I hope this bedtime routine gets easier, and actually becomes a routine. Right now it feels like I'm fighting what they want to do, but in the same vein, they are always really tired by that time, so it makes sense to try and put them to sleep then. They have been falling asleep quicker it seems as time goes on. Again I'm finding myself in the space that seems to lie between attachment parenting and parenting twins. I can't always pay attention to every baby's needs and also save some sanity for myself. So I end up in this awkward place. For now I'll just continue to go with this and we'll see how it develops.

6 month checkup/Last day of work

Today the kids had their 6 month checkup at the neonatal clinic at the local children's hospital. In my area, all babies born before 33 weeks have follow ups there for the first two years of their lives. The boys had a developmental assessment with physical therapists as well as meeting with the nurses and doctors. They did a bunch of odd tests, like holding the boys in front of them and moving them very quickly to one side, evidently looking for some type of reflex or response. Isaac went along with all the tests, only had some resistance and fussing when they moved his neck to the torticolis side. Gabe, on the other hand, screamed the whole time. He was NOT a fan. They did brilliantly though, they are perfectly on track for their adjusted age. In fact, Gabe is even doing some things on his actual age level, things a 5 or 6 month old should be doing. For example, he grasps toys and bringing them to his mouth, and he constantly babbles vowel noises, "bababababa" and "whoaaaaaa" and blows raspberries.

My little Beans are becoming chunky monkeys, Isaac is 13lbs 7oz and Gabe is 15lbs 3oz! It is so fulfilling to know that they are gaining all this weight on mostly just my breastmilk. It makes this crazy pumping schedule worth it.

As to my last day of work - it is tonight! From now on I will be a mostly stay at home mommy, working part time as a nurse's aide. I cannot wait to finally be able to sleep a bit more, and to be home spending precious time with my boys all day. Now that the weather is getting nicer, we can start going out more on walks and to the store or the mall. My reality is quickly changing, and I cannot wait for this new chapter of all of our lives to begin.

Naming Ceremony

Last Friday, the boys had their Hebrew naming ceremony. It was incorporated into the normal Shabbat service. We had the boys dressed up in little vest and khaki pants outfits, which were totally adorable if I do say so myself. Midway through the service, the Rabbi called us up to the bima, and I read a Hebrew blessing as well as an english passage, and Steve read an english passage as well. Of course, in typical overly-emotional Leah fashion I got all teary eyed and voice-crackly while I was reading my passage, and I hugged Isaac close to me and kept kissing his head. The Rabbi then did a blessing, and 'officially' gave them their Hebrew names, Eliyaho for Gabriel, after their great grandpa Emery, and Yisrael for Isaac, after their great great grandpa Joe. The boys behaved beautifully, and in fact, Gabriel was completely entranced by the Rabbi as he spoke! We got to show them off to the congregants afterwards during the Oneg and everyone marvelled at how sweet and adorable they were! So the Beans are now officially Jewish boys :)

The Market

Today we visited a local market. Now that the weather is nice, we are finally starting to venture out with the boys more, and are starting to realize that we are actually capable of doing so. It's not as impossible of a task to take out two babies as it originally seemed. Actually, we've taken to putting one in the carseat and snapping it into the single stroller, and then wearing the other one in the Baby Bjorn. For this particular trip, Isaac was in the carseat, and he promptly passed out in the car and stayed that way throughout the whole excursion! I wore Gabe, and then we kind of passed him back and forth as we ate. Gabe is really starting to become interested in food, he watches intently as we eat, and follows the fork as we put food into our mouths. As evidenced by the pics I took today.

Daddy and Gabers

Thanks for the fork, Dad, now let's get down to business

Isaac enjoyed the trip also, I'm sure

My absolute FAVORITE pic, I think Gabe looks alot like Isaac here

Gabe is at the stage now where he wants to be standing constantly and looking around. He HATES the bouncy seat, and he loves the jumperoo where he can look all around and watch whatever we are doing. He is so inquisitive and determined, and he gets so upset when he wants to do something and is not quite coordinated enough to do it. It is hard to watch but so funny at the same time!

Updates Updates

Well I haven't posted in the past few days because these boys keep me super busy on my off days. A few new developments to list:

• I got my job at the hospital, to start in a few weeks, so I'll be staying home with the boys mostly and working part time
• I think they have both begun teething, judging by the drool, the fussies, and the constant need to chew on something
• Isaac is trying so hard to roll over, he just can't quite figure out what to do with his one arm
• Gabriel especially has started to respond to his name
• They LOVE it when I sing to them, it calms them down immensely

Things are still crazy hectic at the moment. I hardly ever sleep and am constantly exhausted. I've decided to take a couple weeks of 'break' between jobs, to devote more time to the Beans but really to catch up on sleep. As for them, they still have a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep at night, then every 3-4 hours until around 10am usually. I'm finding that I really just try and find things to occupy my time with them (reading books, baths, walks, visiting Nana and daddy at work) because I am just so worn down. I feel bad that I don't devote enough time to just mommy-Beans bonding time, but honestly, if I slow down, I fall asleep.

We did a mini photo shoot the other day, which is what the top picture is from. When my mom saw it, she shrieked at me, "LEAH! They're wearing maize and blue!!!!!?!?" Which honestly I didn't even see until she said that. I'd just picked out the only solid-color non graphic onesies we had, which just happened to be a dandelion color and a blue-green color. Oh well, I suppose it's kind of like men wearing pink - we feel secure enough in our Buckeyehood to wear blue and yellow. The above pic is really one of the only ones that turned out well, and I absolutely LOVE it.

We don't have a whole lot else going on, this coming week is a trip to the great grandparents house and then their Hebrew naming later in the week. I'm sure there will be a ton of pictures. For now, it's the beginning of my work week, which means no sleep and no time to see the Beans. Can't wait till this cycle is over.