Venue!

We have been a busy little household recently! Just lots of appointments, doctors and urgent care visits on account of the boys being sick and then Gabe's sucking-thumb being infected. Yeah. Everyone is on the mend now though. Today I had my last round of appointments, which included a meeting with the temple administrator. She asked lots of questions, most of which I did not have the answer to (who will be walking you down the aisle? have you chosen colors yet?). But after talking with her, and then discussing it with Steve, we have decided: We're having the reception at the temple! I know, no brainer, right? Really I was already won over by the fact that my guests and I won't have to schlepp to some other random location after the ceremony. But after talking with the administrator and getting a better sense of how the evening would flow, I am definitely on board. Not to mention it will be a hell of a lot cheaper than renting out a space anywhere else. The only other places I would even think to go would be Confluence Park, Franklin Park Conservatory, or one of the brewpubs around town if they had the room. But all of those places are at least a 15 minutes freeway drive away, and parking would be a nightmare. Less hassle = more happy!

We can spend the day before decorating the space and setting up the tables. The day of the wedding, all we will have to do is get ready for the ceremony, and oh yeah, that other thing, the marriage!

I'm a happy camper. I feel like I 'should' look around at other places and I 'should' be more picky about this, but frankly: I don't care. All I need is a space. A space where we can eat and drink and have fun. Why go anywhere else for that? It is so simple, and that's what I'm after.

Tidbits

Nothing major to report here, just a few tidbits, both wedding and boys related.

We have a tentative date: November 10th! The Rabbi said it would probably be OK, he just had to check with his wife first (which I find both hilarious and awesome). In the world of traditional wedding planning, I am screwed because I have less than a year to plan. Isn't that ridiculous!? I need one full year or more to plan a wedding? I think 9 months is a long time to wait, personally. I wish we could just do it tomorrow! Frankly, we could, but as I mentioned before, some traditional stuff is important to me, like having my family there and doing it Jew-style. :) So we are waiting to hear officially from the Rabbi that the date is a go, then we will start to plan. I need to look for dresses, and we need to decide if we're going to have the reception at the temple or find another venue. I am also lucky enough to have help from a few friends who are either planning their own weddings or who have been recently married in the area.

Poor Gabes had a little mishap the other day that ended in a trip to the hospital. So, last week when it was nice outside, my mom came over and suggested that we take the boys to the park. Gabe wanted to go down one of the bigger slides, so my mom put him on her lap and went down...only she didn't hold his legs on top of hers. So his right leg got caught and twisted between her leg and the side of the slide. Nice one, Nana! He screamed and screamed when it happened, but we were able to calm him down. A call to the doc reassured us to just ice it and give him some Motrin, and to put on a movie or something so he would sit down and rest. Mission accomplished, the boys watched (and LOVED) Wall-E. It's been about a week, and Gabe is still limping. So yesterday we took him into the pediatrician, and after she examined him, she suggested that we get x-rays of his leg, she thought it might be fractured. So off to the hospital I went, with both boys in tow since Steve was at work. Gabey FREAKED OUT during the x-rays, so I practically had to lay on him while the radiologist held his legs down to get the shots. Turns out that thankfully nothing is fractured, it's just a bad sprain. So rest (ha!) and ice and Motrin if he complains about it.

Also, Valentine's Day will give me the chance to practice my cake baking skills. I feel comfortable saying this because I am 99.9% sure that Steve has never even glanced at my blog! When you live with someone 24/7, why would you want to read their thoughts via the interwebs? Anyhoodle, while grocery shopping today it just kind of hit me that V Day is next week. Really I hold nothing but disgust for the Hallmark "meaning" of the holiday, but hey, it's an excuse to eat delicious sugary treats! So I plan to bake a red velvet cake and to make some fondant to either top it with or at least make little cut outs for decorations. I've not made fondant before so it should be interesting at least! Truth be told, I am not usually a baker of cakes, I specialize in cookies and pie. Especially pie. So I will need ample practice if I am to bake my own wedding cake.

"The Bride"

I had Steve bring me home a couple of bridal magazines from work, more out of curiosity than anything. From these magazines, and many things I have read online, I have deduced that "the bride" is some type of creature that I must become on my wedding day to be legit. A be-crystalled, ruffled, extension-clad beautiful creature, but a creature none the less. What I mean is that it seems like the whole wedding industry is aiming to create something that you should become on your wedding day. God, no, you wouldn't want to be yourself. Your plain old sweatpants-wearing self. You are a bride! You need manicures! And brow specialists! And microdermabrasion! Not to mention the thousands-of-dollars dress and special shoes only to be worn on this day! This idea totally freaks me out. Isn't this day about becoming the best 'me' that I can be? Isn't that what a marriage is about - trying to be your best self, working with your partner and creating a new life together?

Don't get me wrong, a little pampering does feel nice and relieves stress - for me. Many women don't like makeup or nail polish or all that girly fussiness. Why should they be made to feel like less bride-ly because of it? Seriously, one of the magazines suggest that I start scheduling weekly manicures and pedicures beginning 6 MONTHS OUT from my wedding. Are you kidding? Do I look like I have a small fortune? Or that I could possibly have time for such nonsense?

I like me. I like the way I do things. I like the way I paint my nails, and do what little makeup I wear, and how I fix my hair. I don't feel the need to shell out ridiculous amounts of money so that someone else can make me look like what they think a bride should be. And frankly, I resent that everyone thinks that I should. Sure, I might get a massage and some type of spa treatment before the wedding, because I do enjoy those things, and also I have a gift certificate to a local spa from my birthday. But I will not be cramming my wedding day full of stylist appointments.

While I'm ranting - what about the bridesmaids? I do understand and support the idea of having the people most important to you up at the altar to support you at your wedding. Sisters, best friends, whoever. What I do not understand is the idea that, "hey, I have all these totally unique women who are important to me in my life - I know! I want to dress them all alike!". Steve's two oldest sisters were both married in the last year, and I was very grateful to be a bridesmaid in both ceremonies. They had the awesome idea of just choosing a color, then letting the bridesmaid find a dress that suits her in that color. I don't mean a specific color from a specific dress shop, I mean "green" and "blue". I found awesome dresses in both colors which were flattering to me. I'm fixing to have only one bridesmaid/maid of honor/chick of support, and I have told her to just wear whatever she wants. We're not having a theme or specific colors for the wedding, so she can literally wear a dress that she already has. I don't care! I just want her up there with me. I don't want to squeeze her into the bridesmaid mold anymore than I want to be squeezed into the bride one.

To sum up the rantings: Huzzah for a unique wedding full of unique people!

A meeting with the Rabbi

This morning, Steve and I met with the Rabbi to talk about the wedding. He is so welcoming and wonderful! Basically we can have a completely traditional Jewish wedding, or we can just incorporate some traditional elements. We can even start the ceremony with a short Havdalah service! For all you goyim, Havdalah is the closing service to Shabbat, you light a special braided candle and say some beautiful blessings. Of course, since it is a Jewish wedding, it will be taking place on Saturday evening, after sundown (or close to...come on, we're Reform Jews). I had originally figured on having an afternoon wedding, because it would be easier for the boys. But I will admit that secretly I did want an evening wedding, because that way there's more of a party afterwards! YAY PARTY!

We also have an assignment to read some books about Jewish weddings and about having a good marriage.

No, we don't have a date set yet. We are to email the Rabbi with some possible dates, and we'll go from there. The only bad thing is that this year, they are beginning construction to update and add on to the temple. So the sanctuary will be torn up, no matter when we want our wedding to be (it will take a year or more to complete the project). They will still be doing services and Bar and Bat Mitzvahs during construction, so why not a wedding? I don't really care how the bimah looks. As long as we end up married by the end of the night, then we had a successful wedding.

And the planning begins...

"Ah wuv oo mommy"

Last night, Gabey said 'I love you mommy' for the first time :) I just about cried - instead I hugged him ferociously and smothered him in kisses. The above phrase was uttered with Steve's coaching, I will admit, but it was still heart-melting. He is really starting to catch up with his speech, he imitates just about everything we say. Looking at both boys, it is hard to believe that these chatter boxes were once tiny babies hooked up to breathing machines. My biggest boys are growing up!

A Conundrum

The first of many, I'm sure. As if I really need a disclaimer, but I'll post one anyway: I am not a traditional bride. Bet the two kids and six years of cohabitating before marriage gave it away, right? We are not going to have a traditional formal wedding, costing tens of thousands of dollars. In my opinion, that is RIDICULOUS. Aisle runner? No thank you. Monogrammed napkins? Never. Tchotchkies with our names on them that will sit around your house and serve no purpose? Negative ghost rider. That said, I cannot help myself from buying in a little bit to the wedding complex, after all, I am somewhat of a girly girl.

This brings me to the conundrum: the dress. THE dress. My God, there is a whole two hours of shows every Friday on TLC specifically devoted to obtaining the dress. A big part of me rallies against that, thinking that it's obscene to spend the price of a car on a dress that I'm going to wear for, what, 5 hours? That's also the part of me that loves DIY-ing, loves the earth, the moon, and the stars. The ethereal eco-friendly earth mama Leah. That Leah loves dresses like this:

Simple, yet elegant, and also not costing a small fortune. The cut would look great on me. Throw on a crown of daises and boom: Earth Mama Bride. Granted, I'm not getting married in a meadow, but in a synagogue. But the feeling would still be there, and I would feel beautiful, which is perhaps the most important thing. And heck, I could even wear this dress again, it's not so formal that I couldn't wear it to a party with a colorful belt and a cardigan - that is, assuming I have time and a social life in the future with which to attend parties.

So then, why, friends, why, did my heart flutter and jump when I saw this?

OH MY GOD IT'S BIG AND POOFY AND HAS RUFFLES AND IT'S BLUE! CERULEAN BLUE! I WOULD LOOK LIKE SLEEPING BEAUTY ON AN ACID TRIP!

It represents stereotypical femininity, the stereotypical bride (well, except the blue), and completely buys into the idea of what a wedding 'should be'. But I cannot help myself! This is the part of me that loves neon and sparkles, the part of me that paints my nails before every night that I work, full well knowing that all the hand washing will destroy them before the end of the night! The part of me that wears huge gaudy earrings and leopard print! The part of me that loves to be ridiculous simply to be ridiculous! This is Sparkle Leah.

How do I reconcile these two parts of me? Not to mention that there's also Budget-Minded Leah and Anxious Mama Leah (will I be able to pick up the boys in this dress!?!?) trying to influence my decision. Well I do know this much: I want color in my dress. Perhaps not the whole thing (though a part of me still thinks that would be AWESOME!), but at least the tulle underneath, assuming there is tulle. Where would I even find such a dress? The interwebs? How does one even buy a weddin' dress off the net? Without trying it on? Oy. I suppose I will start with somewhat typical bridal salons locally and go from there. Try and find some local boutiques. Needless to say, I have a lot of thinking to do - and hopefully a lot of trying on poofy dresses.

Wish me luck, dear readers.

It's a Revival, Y'all!

So remember that update that I promised you, the one that never came? Weeelll yeah I'm sorry about that. It's been about a year since I wrote last, and a ton of stuff has happened. First off, the boys are doing wonderfully. Here's how big they are now:

Huge, right? Like close to 30 pounds huge. Oh, and that's Gabe with the black mittens and Isaac with the green. No, I do not normally dress them in matching clothes - but those coats are really cute though, right?! Plus, sometimes I do want people to realize that they are twins. Like for example when I'm attempting to schlepp them into a store, or the doctor, or anywhere really. I digress. Last April, they were identified as speech/communication delayed through the Help Me Grow program. They were both eligible for private speech therapy, which Gabe is still receiving. Isaac did so well that after 4 months, he was discharged! They also got into an Early Intervention school program at a wonderful center for children with disabilities. Twice a week, they go to "school" and they LOVE it. They talk about school constantly when they are at home, all their little trucks and cars are always going to school when they are playing. They will be in school until the end of the school year, regardless of progress.

The most intriguing subjects of the moment for them are Elmo (he is like crack for toddlers, really), playing cars and trucks, and reading books. That's pretty much all we do, every hour of every day. We also draw a lot and play with Play Doh, and sometimes I let them help me bake and cook.

I still work 2 days a week at the hospital as a nurse's aide. It sucks sometimes to be underemployed, but I do enjoy my job and the people that I work with. I don't get to sleep alot on the days that I work, since I have to be up in the early afternoon before Steve goes to work, to watch the boys. That is our trade-off so we don't have to have formal childcare.

So the other big news is this:

Steve proposed to me! On our 8 year anniversary. So I apologize in advance, because the blog is about to be overtaken by wedding planning and commentary. Yes, of course I will still include info about the boys and their development. They are still the most important part of my life. But I'm gonna get to wear a poofy dress! And smash a glass! And have a party! Frak yeah!

So I'm reviving this old blog.

More musings to come. Thank you for reading!