Milestones, milestones

We have had a big couple of days!! The boys are growing up super fast, and hitting milestone after milestone. Two days ago, Isaac started army crawling! He still prefers the facecrawl, but if he sees a toy a couple inches in front of him, he will scoot his body along the carpet with his head up, and reach for it! And then, this:

He can sit up (and wouldn't sit still playing with the seahorse for me to take the pic)!!! He just, like, did it. I mean, I just looked over at him, and he was sitting, as if he had been doing it all along! It's just amazing to see your child discover new movements and perspectives. Think about, he's either seen things only from the floor, or from the height of our chests as we hold him up. Now everything looks different, just a foot higher than he was before.

And then today, Steve discovered that Gabriel has cut his first tooth! It's not quite 'up' yet, but it has poked through the gum. No wonder he has been so fussy this past week. I feel bad, because I just chalked it up to general Gabe fussiness. Never gave a thought to giving him Tylenol or anything. And as it turns out, he was teething. Oh, and it's his bottom left front tooth. My mom calls him "Mr. Gums" sometimes, because he flashes his gums when he smiles a big smile at you. No longer! And then, this:

We put him in the pack n play bassinet to contain him for a minute while we made breakfast, and Steve suddenly says "uh...Leah", I look over, and lo and behold, he has pulled himself up to kneeling position! He is balancing like that (and also not holding still for daddy to take this pic)! He's not done anything like this before.

I am thrilled that my little preemie Beans are hitting milestones, but my God boys, slow it down a bit! They are growing up so fast! In fact, when I found out about Gabe's tooth today, I just pulled him to me and hugged him tightly, smothering him with kisses and repeating "my baby, my little baby is growing up!!!" Yay for mommy hormones :) What big big boys I have.

Comfest!

Here are some pics to share from the local hippie/music/beer festival. Even though it was really effing hot, the boys did great, they just took alot of bottles, which is fine by me. We saw a few old friends and a few new ones. We just spent time together as a family sitting under the shade of an oak tree, I believe. I was positively sublimely happy (well, minus the heat and humidity and sheet of constant sweat that covered my body).

Gabe's first experience feeling grass

Which quickly progressed into this...'try and catch me!'

He loves sucking his lip in and making raspberries

Isaac says "I just woke up and we weren't here before and its HOT"

Steve and Isaac, my chunkers monkers!

Isaac and Mama

Isaac says "GIMME THAT BEER MA!"

As to the babies...

After my little introspective-ness, I figured I might as well accomplish what I started this blog for: update about those Beans! They are 8 months old, which means 8 months of me pumping mommy milk for them - Congratulations to me. They are absolutely thriving on it, combined with the bit of formula they do get.

Gabriel: He is fully crawling now. Like, for real. This kid is fast too. If I go in the kitchen to make a bottle, I need to poke my head back out in the main room every 10-15 seconds, otherwise this kid is wedged in the corner chewing on electrical cords somehow. He's also starting to make new sounds - the other day he made a "kah" sound. I believe that's his first consonant noise, everything else was a "oaaaaahhh" or "oooo". He is also completely fascinated by his own hands. He will lay there and just watch and he moves and turns them in front of his face. Also, he has become the squirmiest little bugger EVER. Trying to diaper and dress this kid after a bath is like trying to wrangle a wet feral cat.

Isaac: He has mastered the facecrawl, as we call it. I wish I had a picture of it. Head on floor, butt in the air, legs splayed out to the sides of his body, pushing himself along the carpet. He can balance like that and play with stuff underneath his body. It's kind of like a yoga downward dog pose, but with legs out at an angle as opposed to directly behind the body. He ends up with rugburn on his face and nose, poor kid. We always get in front of him and shake toys and say "Monkey!! look up here!! Isaac, look at mama!" But he continues to facecrawl. Oh wells. I'm still slightly worried about his development, but as many of my forum friends/moms of multiples have assured me, it's just in my nature to compare the babies, even though I would not be doing the same thing had they been born separately, not as twins.

Both: They have regular intervals of glorious twin interaction. They will be laying on the floor, or if you hold one baby in front of the other while he is seated in a bouncy or Bumbo, and they just laugh and smile at each other, and eat each other's hands and feet. It is ADORABLE, and leaves me teary-eyed and emotional.

We plan to take them to a local festival tomorrow, one where beer is plentiful and the atmosphere is fairly hippie-esque. We plan to single stroller one baby and wear the other, even though it will be damn near 8 million degrees, with 8 million percent humidity. It should be fun though. I look forward to this festival every year, and frankly, I will be quite a sight in my tie dye shirt with a baby strapped to my chest and a giant mug of beer in hand.

I am upset by the infrequency with which I update this blog. I have time, I do, when I pump, I can grab the computer and type out a little something, but ah, sheer laziness prevails. You know what else I am upset by? How uneducated I sound. That sounds pretentious, I know, but really, I used to write much more eloquently than I do now, and you could see all my years of hard schoolwork and essay writing in my words. I think its been a combination of my previously mind-numbing job, my lack of reading any literature recently, and my cramming of all the pregnancy/baby/prematurity information into my brain that has caused me to go 'stupider'. I fully subscribe to the idea that when an adult shoves some new information into their brain, something else falls out. For me, that something has been grammar and my aforementioned eloquence, my vocabulary, and also most of American history. Sorry Mr. Liebesman and 11th grade AP class.

I digress.

This will sound ungrateful, but recently I have realized how much of my being is completely consumed by caring for these beautiful babies. I really don't mean that in a bad sense. I just mean that I am so very different than I used to be. Sure, I still get upset and overreact to some little things, but for the most part, I am so much more mellow than I used to be. And my God am I a caretaker and a nurturer. It's all I do. Literally. I wonder do all new moms feel this way? Like you've lost yourself in a sense, just because of the sheer enormity of the task of taking care of a new baby - or two? I don't blame the babies, I don't blame anyone. I'm just kind of musing on how I feel. Every fiber of my being is centered around my children, and I don't really think that's a bad thing. I am growing and stretching in new directions, I just haven't fully realized them all yet. There is a need to find and grasp onto a little shred of 'me', though.

That said, I have noticed that my old foe Codependency is back. It creeped into my life silently and slowly as I reacted to the crisis of the babies' prematurity. Now I'm back to the feeling of being lost in everyone else and everything else, low self worth, and the pattern of overeating and over-exerting myself. Eh. I need to come back to myself and become centered again.

Thank you, readers, for coming with me on this rant/journey. I started this blog to post updates about the babies, but it really has allowed me a certain freedom to express myself, and I appreciate you being beside me.

Worried

So I have become worried about my little Isaac bean. Little being the key word here. He's always been 1-2 pounds lighter than his brother, which I'm told is normal. Up until a few weeks ago, he always ate about the same amount as his brother, maybe 1/2-1 ounce less a feeding. But again, I'm told he was eating normally for his weight. Over the past weeks, and it's happened gradually, he is not eating nearly as much as he used to. Instead of easily taking 5-6 oz a feeding, he is taking 3 or 4. He does get solids twice a day, cereal in the morning and a fruit or veggie in the evening. The thing is, everything else is normal. No fever, no more fussy than normal, eating solids very well, playing normally, lots of wet and dirty diapers. I will call the doctor on monday just to make sure. I guess I just don't want him to stop gaining weight well, and frankly I want him to be roughly the same size as his brother. I'm afraid of him being picked on or made fun of, or what have you. I'm so afraid that he is developmentally stunted as well, since Gabe does everything first. He doesn't really have an interest in sitting up, and he doesn't army crawl like Gabe, he kind of does this tripod thing where he sticks his butt up in the air, braces himself with his feet wide, and crawls around on his face. It works, but it's odd, and it doesn't get him to the next stage, actually crawling.

I'm just worried.

Happy Screams Gabe

Gabriel has learned to scream...it's more of a shrieking really. The funny thing is, it's a happy noise. He makes it when you give him a toy, pick him up, pretty much anytime. He's also getting really good at army crawling, as evidenced by this video I took earlier today. It is such a joy to watch him discover things, even if it does involve this ridiculous noise!