Happiness!

Today was/is a crappy day at work, but I just got good news! I have a job interview at the hospital on Monday! If I got this job, it would be amazing, though we would be POOR with me working only 16 hours a week. But of course it would only be 2 days a week, and the rest of the time I would be with the Beans! That way I would be present for all those milestones, instead of just hearing about them because I was working 60 hours a week. It is so so hard for me to leave them every day as it is, even though I know they are being taken care of. I'm their mommy, and I want to be there. It's not even so much a 'want', it's that I have this primal connection, they are a part of me, I NEED to be with them. It feels unnatural to me to be away from them so much when they are this little. Here is a list of things I want to remember about them at this age.

Beans, these are the things I love about you:

-The way you look up at me when I nurse you

-How when I hold you, you nestle into me to get just that much closer

-Your gorgeous smiles when I talk to you

-That you look around for me as soon as you hear my voice

-The way your baby hair smells and feels so soft

-Gabe, the way you try and shove your whole hand into your mouth to suck your thumb

-Isaac, how fascinated you are by the fish mobile, your eyes light up when you see it

You boys have come so far from your early beginnings, I am amazed every day by your development, and watching you discover the world helps me discover it all over again.

Though it is months old, this is a picture of the first time I held Isaac, he was 3 days old. It was one of the best moments of my life. The maternal instinct and connection is so intense.