I found out I was pregnant on April 21, 2009. We were thrilled...also, terrified. Then we went for the first ultrasound on May 14, 2009, and discovered that not only was there one heartbeat, but two. TWO. Commence freakout. My due date was set for Christmas day. Around 17 weeks into the pregnancy, we found out Baby A was a boy. Then, although I had convinced myself that Baby B was a girl, we found out at my 20 week scan that we were having another boy! Everything else looked good.
Then, at my 24/25 weeks scan, trouble. Babies still looked good, but my cervix had shrunk from a long 40mm to a very short 11mm, meaning there was only 11mm of me separating my boys from the world. Not good. I was immediately send to the L&D and placed on hospitalized strict bedrest in the antepartum unit. At the point, my OB even came in and said "Now Leah, you are in danger of delivering now, and I need to prepare you that not all babies born at 25 weeks survive". Commence second freakout. After a week in the hospital, they realized that all my lady parts were staying put for the time being, so I was sent home on strict bedrest.
Now, at this time, my big goal was to get to 30 weeks gestation. Not only do most babies born at 30 weeks survive, but they survive healthy. The day that I was 30 weeks pregnant, I went into preterm labor. By the time I got to the hospital, I was 4cm dilated and 100% effaced, and I quickly got to 6cm dilated. I really started panicking when the nurse said "Your boyfriend, is he on the way in?" and I said "No, he's at work", and then she replied "Yeah you should call him".
The docs pumped me full of magnesium sulfate aka the most horrible yet effective drug in the world EVER, to try and stop my labor. It worked long enough to give me a second round of betamethasone steroid shots (I'd gotten the first round while on bedrest), to help mature the boys' lungs. Some more medical ridiculousness ensued, including a botched epidural, and finally, after 4 days in semi-stopped labor and 18 hours of active labor, it was "time". I was 30 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
They wheeled me back to the OR, where they routinely deliver all twins. After about 6 or 7 pushes, on October 19, 2009, Isaac was born, 2lbs 15oz, 16 inches long. He cried right away. It was beautiful, and I started sobbing, and even Steve (my boyfriend) cried. Then they did an ultrasound to determine the position of Baby B, and lo and behold, he had flipped to a footling breech position, and his cord prolapsed. So my OB looked up at me and said "You're gonna need a c section". FML. So a half hour after his brother, Gabriel was born, 4lbs, 17 3/4 inches long. He was blue and barely breathing. So the docs resuscitated him, and then he cried too. Both boys were whisked away to the NICU while they closed me up.
The boys at birth, Isaac on top, Gabe on the bottom.
Both boys needed nasal CPAP for 6 days to help them breathe easier. Gabriel was having chest retractions (working too hard to breathe), so they almost had to intubate him and give him artificial surfactant. Thank God for opiates, because if I hadn't of been all doped up on post c section pain meds in those first few days, I dont know how I would have dealt with everything. Seeing your little tiny babies hooked up to machinery, fighting for their lives, is an absolutely horrible experience. Isaac had low blood sugar and jaundice so he needed the bili lights for a couple of days. Gabe had his umbilical catheter in for the maximum of 7 days and then needed peripheral IVs as well. Isaac had a grade 1 brain bleed. They both had tons of bradys (heart rate drops) and apneas (stopped breathing). Gabe got a bad bladder infection. Isaac had bloody stools and they thought he had necrotizing entercolitis, a serious and often fatal infection (he did not). I could go on and on, but the gist is that the NICU is a roller coaster, especially with two babies. The staff there was absolutely wonderful though, and supported me no matter how much of a hot emotional mess I was.
This was also the beginning of my love/hate relationship with the breast pump. More on that later.
The day I was discharged from the hospital without my babies was the worst day of my life, hands down. I NEVER want to feel that feeling ever again.
After 42 days in the NICU, Isaac came home, weighing 4lbs 14oz. Having one at home and one in the NICU is gutwrenching to say the least. After 61 days in the NICU, about a week before my due date, Gabe joined his brother at home. He is the chunkster of the two, and his discharge weight was 8lbs 1oz.
Which brings us to today, the boys have been home for about 2 months. Never in my life did I think I would be a preemie mom. I wouldnt wish this experience on anyone, but it has made me so much stronger than I ever was before. I appreciate my babies just that much more, since I know what it feels like to have them taken away, like you are a hollow shell of yourself, a part of your soul is missing.
My day to day life now consists of a flurry of breastfeeding, pumping, bottle feeding, changing diapers, tummy time, usually a docs appt, and maybe I get to eat or shower. Steve is wonderful, and has been throughout the whole process. My love for him has been renewed over and over again seeing him as a father.
My boys are my life.
Steve holding Isaac on the right, and Gabers on the left. They have more than tripled their birthweights!
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