Realistic Expectations

I need to get me some of those. Even about this blog. I thought "Oh, I can find time to update daily, add pictures, add videos". Negative. I don't know why it is that I feel the need to do everything all the time. Maybe the cultural perception that women should be working supermoms who can cook, clean, nurse a baby, and work 40+ hours a week and not complain. Well, that ain't me. And I have to accept that.

But I do have updates now. So, over the weekend, we realized that Gabe no longer fits in 0-3 month clothes...and we really hardly had anything 3-6 months. Off to the resale shop! I bought a ton of zipply long sleeve sleepers in 3-6 months. My little bean is getting so big! Here he is in one of the t shirt onesies that his aunt got him, all ready for football!

Also, Isaac learned to roll himself onto his side from his back. He was in the play gym, and he kept bending at the waist and lifting up his legs, and rocking back and forth till he kind of tipped over onto his side! I couldn't believe it, I always thought Gabe would do it first, since he has been developmentally ahead until now. I'm sure I sound like a broken record, but it is seriously amazing to watch them discover new things, to discover their environment and how they fit into it. They are both so bright eyed now, always looking around, smiling, taking everything in. It's so beautiful.

Here is a video I shot of them both doing tummy time. Isaac was kinda lifting up his head, but he can do it much better than this in reality. Gabers was scooting himself around. Slightly terrifying for me. Also, be advised, I sound like a flaming idiot when I talk to these babies. Also, my voice...how anyone can stand it for more than a few minutes is beyond me. It's so weird hearing your own voice from the 'outside'.

Now, Gabe is good at getting his hand to his mouth and sucking his thumb, but Isaac, not so much. But he has these times when he's in the bouncy and he is concentrating sooo hard on trying to get his hand into his mouth. And of course, there I was with the camera.

These boys surprise me every day with what they can do. Now when I'm at work, I just feel like I'm going to burst if I don't get home and see them and hold them and kiss them. My life is so much more full than it was before. I need to accept everything for what it is, make small changes if I can, and if not, just accept it. I cannot do everything all the time. When I try to, I miss these little moments, because I am too busy worrying about the next thing to do, or what I "should" be doing.

I guess the worry is part of being a preemie mom. I know they need more help than term babies, and I know technically they are 'behind' because of the chronological age vs. adjusted age gap. But especially because of that, I know these boys won't be hitting the milestones as term babies would be. They have their own plan, their own set path, and it is hard for me to let go and accept that. In another way, I feel so incredibly lucky that they are special in this way, that they really will not conform to the set standards for babies developmentally. It is freeing, they will do things when they are ready, and in the meantime, we can just hang out and enjoy our time together.